PUB ROCK / Pint-sized rock ' n ' rollers: Jim White steps back in time to sample the fare at his local
By JIM WHITE
According to those on the inside track, Raggahouse is the latest fad in clubland.
This hybrid mix of reggae and hip hop follows acid jazz, Belgian New Beat and acid swing  the wholly forgettable contribution of Jive Bunny  as the sound to set disco feet tapping.
But no matter how often the archives are ransacked for old genres to bastardise, you don't have to be at the forefront of style-making to foresee that very few clubs will be swaying this time next year to Pub Acid, Hip Malt ` n ' Hops, or Sweaty Backroom House.
The grunge and grime of pub rock has been credited with many things, including the invention of punk rock, but being remotely fashionable isn't one of them.
At the Bull &amp; Gate, next door to the Town &amp; Country Club in London's Kentish Town, the management has been promoting pub rock in a back room with adjoining outer bar for almost as long as the form has existed.
Last Thursday night the pub presented a triple bill described in Time Out magazine, the Baedeker Guide for London pub rock fans, as' melodic pop rock '.
At the door the man taking the money was dirtying patrons' hands with one of those rubber stamps no-one thought existed outside student discos.
When pressed he was unable to give an accurate answer why this was necessary, nor why the stamp read ' Do Not Bend '.
For your 3 entrance fee, you were invited into a dingey outer bar, packed to capacity with strange anarcho-punk types who only appear at night.
At the bar a leather-clad schoolboy was buying a pint of lager, served in a plastic beaker.
Occasionally, the decibel level would rise from the merely conversation-stopping to Heathrow proportions.
This was when somebody opened the door to the inner sanctum where the support band was playing.
Here, in a room even estate agents would have difficulty describing as anything other than small, 20 people clung to the perimeter walls as a man with a Chris Waddle haircut hammered out some old rock cliches.
One fan sang along and plucked at an imaginary guitar, but he turned out to be the roadie.
At the end of their set the roadie applauded wildly, and everyone else wandered back to the bar.
No wonder the Waddle-alike kept his eyes firmly shut throughout.
The headline band was called Girl With A Blue Guitar.
They were what is known as indie-poppers, which means that they play guitars rather than synthesisers, wear black leather biker's jackets and have a female lead singer with peroxide blonde hair.
The twist here was that the guitarist was also female (her guitar was blue) and the singer had an Australian accent.
The crowd had swollen to about 70 by now, standing in a respectful arc, as if the stage was protected by a sci-fi forcefield.
A couple of girls danced enthusiastically and several others tapped their feet.
A friend of the band weaved in and out of the crowd, recording their performance on a video camera.
It was the only indication, apart from the price of the beer, that this wasn't a decade ago.
For the players, there was the prospect of returning to their day jobs with 50 in their pockets, for the landlord there was a healthy night's takings and for the crowd, even those who had stayed in the bar all evening, there was a nasty ringing in the ears the next morning.
That's the thing about pub rock  everyone goes home happy.
PUB ROCK / Pint-sized rock ' n ' rollers: Jim White selects the best of the London pub venues and gigs in the weeks ahead
By JIM WHITE
GENERAL TIPS A general rule for pub rock patrons is that the quality of music will be in inverse proportion to the quality of the beer (except at Finsbury Park's Sir George Robey where an excellent music policy comes complete with a decent pint of Guinness).
Another rule of thumb is that if the act is obliged to rest their microphone stand and amplifiers on beer crates instead of the stage, it will be a good evening.
There are two types of pub rock occasions: those, like the one described above, where the band is likely to suffer from agrophobia; and those where the pub is so crowded, death through asphixiation seems to be the only way to get out.
There is no half-way house.
If it's a comfortable evening's entertainment you're after, stay at home with the video.
Dress varies, but will never be up.
WHO TO WATCH While the best that chart music can manage in the way of band names is Black Box, the pub circuit has always been ripe with imaginative handles.
Cheerfully bending ears this week somewhere in London are Bald Howlin' Bastard, Daisy Chainsaw, The Wandering Crutchless, Benny Profane, The Gordon Jackson Five and New Fast Automatic Daffodils.
We have no idea whether the music matches the nomenclature, but it must be worth 5 of anyone's money to encourage them.
PLAYING THIS WEEK TONIGHT Bop Brothers Blues Band The plethora of litigation surrounding Blues Brothers lookalikes almost matches that attached to the release of Wired, the unofficial biography of the original brother, John Belushi.
Suffice to say, whether Boogie, Bop or simply Blues, this set of Brothers, whatever they once were before they fell out and dispatched solicitors to sue their siblings, will be wearing dark glasses, pork pie hats, black side-burns and will be playing Stax/Atlantic type material.
Can't fail to be entertaining.
Oh, all right it can.
Weavers Arms, 98 Newington Green Rd, N1 (226 6911) 8.30pm 2.
Near Death Experience Hopefully simply a band name, not a prediction.
Loud and tuneless, but has that ever been a problem before?
King's Head Fulham (details below) 8pm 2.
Well Loaded Much talked-about guitar rockers, generally regarded as destined for the bigger stadia of life, unless they self-destruct en route.
Catch them young.
Powerhaus, at the Pied Bull 1 Liverpool Rd, N1 (837 3218) 7.30pm 3.
The Vapour Corporation Power pop, which means don't expect to leave with your eardrums intact.
Cricketers, Kennington Oval (735 3059) 8pm 3.
Johnny Mars Blues Band Unrepentant Smiths fans need not beat a path to the door, this is nothing to do with Johnny Marr.
Dog &amp; Trumpet 38 Great Marlborough St, W1 (437 5559) 8pm Free.
Primal Scream Not a name which would lead you to expect self-absorbed acoustic doodlings.
Which is just as well, because long-haired rock is what you will get.
Plough Kenton, Kenton Rd, Harrow (907 2498) 9pm 3.50.
FRIDAY Dr &amp; The Medics Silly hippies in Roy Wood cast-off costumes don't sound like the most appetising evening out, and their brief foray into the charts was a considerable embarrassment, but the good Dr's tongue is in the right place (in his cheek) and a jolly time is guaranteed.
Powerhaus N1 (837 3218) 8.30pm 5.
MON 9 OCT Steve Marriott &amp; Mickey Hutton In among those on their way up, and those who will never go anywhere, the pub rock circuit plays host to those who were once really something.
Marriott was the chirpy Cockney sparrer who lead The Small Faces, who performed that strange pigeon-toed shuffle on Top of the Pops and wrote ' Lazy Sunday Afternoon '.
Now he steps out on beer-stained carpets and decaying floor-boards, but the conviction remains as strong.
Best of all he seems to enjoy himself.
Not, in truth, a pub rock venue, but certainly a pub rock act.
The Monday Club, The Limelight, Shaftesbury Ave, W1 434 0572. 9pm.
WHERE TO GO Bull &amp; Gate, 389 Kentish Town Rd, NW5 (485 5358).
Small but perfectly formed for pub rocking (ie sweaty and restricted view from all but the front three rows).
The front bar, if the noise level becomes too oppressive, has prints of Lester Piggott decorating the wall, and a pool table.
Dog &amp; Dumpling, 13 Southgate Rd, N1 (359 6596).
Not sure of the music policy, but the name sounds like the ingredients of a takeaway from a less salubrious Chinese.
Dublin Castle 94 Parkway, NW1 (485 1773) Beloved of Camden's grunge rock enthusiasts, a temple to R'n'B, complete with priceless memorabilia decorating the brown-painted (or nicotine-stained) walls.
Back room stage so small the performers have to rest their mike stands on the floor in front.
Fulham Greyhound 175 Fulham Palace Rd, W6 (385 0526) Home of heavy rock, so take your ear-plugs.
Consistently fine and determined music policy.
Half Moon Putney 93 Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 (788 2387) Better known for its jazz, but a good, wholesome venue for rock nonetheless.
King's Head, Fulham 4 Fulham High St, SW6 (736 1413) L-shaped room, part corridor, part bar, part dance-floor, with the stage in one corner, ensuring restricted view from virtually everywhere.
Perhaps the best atmosphere around, with uninhibited dancing and whelping.
New Pegasus 109 Green Lanes, N16 (226 5930) Pub which has gone through several incarnations, most recently known as Chas'n'Dave 's.
The odd policy to put the stage in the middle of the room rather than at one end leads to a diminishing of the atmosphere (the corners are seldom filled).
The stains on the carpet have survived every name change.
Sir George Robey 240 Seven Sisters Rd N4 (263 4581) Named after an old musical hero, located opposite the old Rainbow, the venerable old rock institution which is now home to a religious sect.
Lots of old posters on the wall.
Smelly back room, perfect for the sweatier excesses of the form.
ROCK / Wilko Johnson, pub rock king
By JIM WHITE
Wilko Johnson is, without reservation, the best performer in pub rock.
The former Dr Feelgood and Blockhead, owner of chameleon eyes and a manic Chuck Berry-like duck waddle, now leads a fearsome three piece.
Bassist Norman Watt Roy, who was the power behind Ian Dury and has a set of eye-baggage that must be the envy of Barry Norman, puts so much into thumping out a rhythm that the sweat drips from the end of his guitar.
He takes his work-ethic from his leader who, rather than stop, has been known to replace broken guitar strings while hammering out a perfect twelve-bar blues riff.
The music is that perfect staple of pub rock, good old Brit R'n'B, which was nurtured and cultivated in Wilko's home-town of Southend.
Never mind the band's recent elevation to the 2,000-a-night world of the society ball circuit, the pub is the perfect forum to enjoy them.
Back In The Night, the old Feelgood stomp, is the highlight and, usually, the closing number - though the number of encores varies according to how well the concert is going.
Guaranteed the best fun you could have in a London pub, unless George Michael reformed Wham and chose the Fulham Greyhound to warm-up for their comeback world tour.
Sat 7 October, Powerhaus, 1 Liverpool Rd, N1 (01-837 3218).
5.
